Choosing STAR Instead of Scream

Tempers are flaring everywhere, and, it seems, patience is wearing thin. Whether it’s a long rant on social media, people fighting on a plane, or frustration with a partner or child, a few skills can really go a long way. When our anger does our talking or acting we all know our relationships suffer. Summer is here and the kids are home, so lets start with something that parents and care takers can try with children:

Stop and focus – know when your blood is boiling and back away. Perhaps that means going to the bathroom to splash water on your face, scrolling through social media, or calling a friend to get calm.

Think – what is the message you are trying to send? You may be frustrated, but that isn’t the message. Ask yourself if your tone, words and facial expression are all sending the same message. Often children hear our tone to interpret our message, which is why it can seemingly fall on “deaf ears.”

Act – Having made a clear plan to address the issue, create a non-threatening space to talk to your child.
Review and revise – decide what worked and change what didn’t work.

If you need a plan more specifically devised for you and your child any clinician at Owens & Associates Counseling and Therapy Center can help.

Don’t forget to REWARD yourself for choosing STAR instead of scream!