National Suicide Prevention Month: How to Help Someone Thinking About Dying By Suicide

By Elizabeth Young, Master Level Clinical Intern 09/13/2024

September is National Suicide Prevention Month and a great time to find out how you can help have the conversation with someone about suicide. There are five steps to helping someone experiencing suicidal thoughts, or ideations.

Asking about suicide is the first and most important step you can take to prevent it. According to #BeThe1To, “studies show that asking at-risk individuals if they are suicidal does not increase suicides or suicidal thoughts. In fact, studies suggest the opposite: findings suggest acknowledging and talking about suicide may in fact reduce rather than increase suicidal ideation” (https://www.bethe1to.com/bethe1to-steps-evidence/). This is key information to keep in mind in the first step when considering having the conversation with someone you are concerned may be thinking about taking their own life. Asking something like “Are you thinking about dying by suicide?” is specific and to the point.

It may seem challenging, but it’s a brave and caring thing to do. Knowing the warning signs for suicide such as those published by the National Institute of Mental Health can help (https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/warning-signs-of-suicide). When asking if someone is thinking about suicide and why, listening to their answers and looking for ways to talk about any positive feelings they have about continuing to live also expand the conversation with someone about suicide.

Being there for someone having thoughts of suicide increases their feelings of connectedness and provides a preventive resource for having the conversation with them. It is strongly protective and can reduce the escalation of thoughts to action. If you cannot be there yourself, helping connect them to others who can is just as important (https://988lifeline.org/). Saying something like “I want to help you through this and be there for you.” communicates your intentions.

Helping someone thinking about suicide to stay safe is an important part of the conversation. Understanding their past experiences with thinking about or attempting to die by suicide can help you determine the current risk. Keep them safe and talk about how you will assist with finding them help especially if they have specific plans or means to act on their thoughts about suicide. This may require calling for immediate assistance (e.g., 911) or convincing them to come with you to the nearest emergency department. If that seems necessary, saying something like “What you’re going through may need some help beyond what I can provide, and I’ll be there with you.” explains the situation without judgment.

The next step is to help connect the person thinking about suicide to their best supports and resources when they have these thoughts. What has been helpful in the past to make them feel better? Have they reached out for help before and what worked? Do they have family supports, caregivers, or friends who might be willing to be part of their safety plan? Helping them think about and develop a safety plan for what they will do when they experience suicidal thoughts can be lifesaving (https://www.verywellmind.com/suicide-safety-plan-1067524).

Finally, after the person thinking about suicide has received care, be sure to follow up with them. Making contact to check in and see how they are doing after you have helped can increase feelings that they are connected and have someone who cares in their lives. In fact, this simple step has been shown to decrease additional thoughts and attempts to die by suicide.

These five steps of #BeThe1To created and promoted by the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline provide specific ways to increase and normalize the conversation about suicide risk and can help prevent suicide. You can make a difference!

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