A Guide to Wellness on Your Phone
By: Savannah Walker, NCC, LPC Pending
I’ll admit it, I love my phone. It’s my GPS, my calendar, calculator, journal, news source, and exercise tracker. I can read a book, send an email, call my grandma, learn Spanish, and fact check all in one device. But let’s be real, some apps are really designed to suck you in and keep you scrolling, which takes a major toll on your mental health.
I’ll be honest, there have been times where I get too sucked in. I’m only human. Over the last year, I have really explored ways to find a healthy balance both in my personal life and helping clients. Don’t worry, I’m not going to tell you to put the phone down or turn in your smart phone for a classic flip phone. This guide can help you find the balance between using your phone without it controlling you.
Notice Your Digital Reflexes
Have you ever picked up your phone to check the weather, but the next thing you know, you’re 20 minutes into a scroll hole? Or do you have the urge to grab your phone when you’re in the middle of a conversation? Or how about reaching for your phone as soon as you wake up in the morning? These are signs that your relationship with your phone may not be in the best place.
Notice this reflex without judgment. Everything about our phones is designed to hook us, so give yourself grace and just notice how often this happens. Noticing is the first step so that you know what you need next.
A Therapist’s Favorite Word: BOUNDARIES!
What if you designated tech-free areas? Here are some common ones:
- No phones at the dinner table
- No phones in the bedroom
- No phones while watching TV (one course of entertainment/stimulation is enough)
- No phones during conversations
If this seems like a big step, you could start small with no phones in the bathroom (cause let’s be real, we all do it).
Another idea would be no phones during certain times. Like keeping your phone in your bag while you’re working or putting it away for a couple of hours before bed.
Turning off notifications that you don’t need also helps. Because who needs a notification multiple times a day reminding you to practice your Spanish, check out the latest sale, and who posted on their socials? Not me.
App timers are also great; the key is to honor them!
Embrace Boredom
Having entertainment at our fingertips has really started to impact how we embrace boredom. In reality, boredom can be very beneficial. If we are able to sit in the stillness and check in with ourselves, we can be a lot more mindful. If you do choose do use your phone while you’re bored, that’s fine! However, consider the type of entertainment you give yourself. Do you read a book? Or do you dive into another scroll hole? Do you play a mentally stimulating game? Or do you get mad at another post your great aunt made? How can you embrace boredom or entertain yourself in stimulating and healthier ways?
Consider Your Nervous System
I constantly hear people talking about how our nervous system wasn’t designed to live in this world. I don’t think phones are an exception to that. Consider, why do you think certain apps are so addicting? A theory I have enjoyed learning about is that it stimulates your nervous system while hijacking your brain’s way or reinforcing you, simultaneously stressing you out and rewarding you for it. Sounds scary? Consider these tips to protect your nervous system:
- Turning your phone on black and white mode is less stimulating and appealing, helping you gain control over your phone use.
- One source of entertainment at a time. Resist scrolling through your phone while watching tv, or scrolling while having a conversation, etc.
- Consider leaving certain apps that feel difficult to control.
It may feel odd and difficult at first, but your system will adjust with time.
Check Your Why
I’m not anti-phones. As a millennial, I feel like technology is built into my DNA. I don’t believe we have to stop using our phones (unless you simply want to). However, I think we should limit activities on our phones that we don’t actually care about. For example, are you scrolling through your feed because you consciously thought you had a few minutes to yourself and want some entertainment? Or are you scrolling because you’re avoiding a difficult task at work? Are you checking your socials because you consciously decided to? Or are you checking them because you picked up your phone to check the weather and automatically opened your socials?
If you’re noticing your phone is getting in the way of things you want to do and accomplish, you’re not alone. Us clinicians at Owens Counseling are ready to help you!