How to Sit With Difficult Emotions Without Being Overwhelmed

A simple cartoon figure sits cross-legged, hand on chest, surrounded by colorful thought bubbles labeled anger, sadness, anxiety, shame, fear, and frustration, symbolizing acknowledging and accepting emotions.

How to Sit With Difficult Emotions Without Being Overwhelmed

By Zachary Devore, LCPC

It goes without saying that difficult emotions can be tough to deal with. Nobody likes feeling intense fear, sadness, or anger. At the same time feeling those emotions can be critical for processing and finding resolution. When we experience an event, our brains trigger an emotional response that helps us to process what is happening. The way that we feel ultimately inform us what we need to do in order to resolve that situation. If we are feeling scared it is because we perceive ourselves as being unsafe, if we are angry, we perceive that we are being disrespected, if we are sad, we perceive that we have lost something. Each one of those scenarios will have a unique way for us to attempt to resolve that feeling internally. When we try to avoid feeling those emotions because they are particularly strong or intense, we are often times blocking our ability to resolve the situation.

The question then becomes, how do I allow myself to feel those things. Sometimes it is as simple as giving ourselves permission to feel them. To sit in a quiet room or space and say “Alright, it’s okay for me to feel this way and so I am going to just allow myself to feel this emotion for a set amount of time.” So we sit, allow ourselves to ride out that wave of emotion, and then we feel a sense of relief or gain insight. Other times it is not so simple and we can rely on using a few different techniques to help us navigate that.

Journaling: Journaling can be a powerful tool to aid in sitting with difficult emotions, by allowing them to have an outlet. An effective method of using journaling to manage emotions is a technique that I refer to as ‘stream of conscious writing’. In this form of journaling you allow yourself to express the emotions without thinking about censoring what you are writing. Once you have written all there is to write you can set the journal aside and not look at it until you are ready to. Sometimes you may decide that you are unwilling to revisit it and that’s okay as well.

Talking: Sometimes it can be helpful to talk through difficult emotions with someone you trust. The important thing with this approach is to make sure that you set clear boundaries for the communication. In these instances, it can be helpful to specify that you only want someone to listen without passing judgement or offering solutions. Your therapist can be a great resource for this if you do not feel comfortable opening up and sharing with your friends or family. Depending on the issue it might also be the healthier choice to discuss it with someone who is not involved in what is currently triggering the difficult emotion.

Aftercare: One of the important things to do when feeling difficult emotions is to allow yourself space to recover once you have allowed yourself to feel them. It is not uncommon to feel drained and tired after you’ve had to sit with some difficult feelings. If you know that you are going to set aside time to do that work, make sure that you have planned things that you typically enjoy doing for afterwards. Pick two or three things that typically help you feel slightly better, and make arrangements to do those things once you have finished. It is important to set these things up ahead of time, because after you have sat with a difficult emotion you might find yourself in a bit of a funk and feeling unmotivated to think of anything that might be helpful. If you already have a plan in place, it’s much easier to simply follow that plan than to try to come up with something new.

Feeling strong and difficult emotions can be a daunting task. Often times we are told by society, or well-meaning people in our lives, to ignore those feelings and try to avoid them. Ultimately this can make those feelings worse in the long run, or keep us from resolving a potential conflict that is within us. If you ever feel scared or intimidated by feeling strong emotions, that is the perfect time to seek out help. Any of the therapists here at Owens & Associates would be more than happy to help guide you through those difficult moments!

Give us a call 📞 847-854-4333 or an email 📩admin@owenscounseling.com to get the ball rolling on your treatment today.

Remember, we all deserve a helping hand when we’re feeling some type of way, and we’re happy to provide them.

All of us at Owens Counseling & Therapy are here for YOU! In person or telehealth – which ever you prefer. We want to listen to understanding, provide a safe, non-judgemental space for you, and support you in figuring out life. YOUR life, as in how you want to live it.