Promoting Positive Body Image in Teens

By Savannah Walker, Master Level Intern

Nowadays, body image can feel like an up-hill battle. Teens (and let’s be honest, adults too) are bombarded with impossible beauty standards from every angle (social media, peers, advertising, and family members). Regardless of how well-meaning you or others may be, it’s important to understand how to promote a healthy body image in teenage, loved ones. Here’s what I have found is helpful when addressing these issues…

Validate

While of course you want to tell your teen, “You’re beautiful just the way you are”, this can often feel invalidating to someone who is struggling with body image. This comes across as dismissively bypassing the pain and slapping a glittery band aid on it. Instead, try to express empathy by saying, “I understand why you can feel that way with all the pressure you feel to look a certain way”.

This response builds trust, shows your listening to understand instead of listening to respond, and opens the door to deeper conversations.

Check Your Own Beliefs About Appearances

Teenagers aren’t the only ones subjected to unrealistic beauty standards. My experience growing up was constant exposure to diet culture, photoshop, and that weird era where low-rise jeans tried to destroy my self-worth. This messaging doesn’t discriminate, and you might unintentionally pass it on if you haven’t addressed it in yourself.

Be aware of how you talk about yourself- especially in front of teenagers. Also be careful of negative messaging hiding within seemingly positive messaging such as “I just want you to be healthy”. If “healthy” is a specific number, then it’s likely that health isn’t what you’re after.

If you’re subtly attacking your own appearance, teens tend to soak that up like the latest Tik-Tok trend. The message you’re sending is that value is conditional and self-acceptance comes attached to a certain size or number. There’s a big difference between, “ugh, I need to lose ten pounds before vacation” and “I want to take care of my body, so I’m going to start moving my body more”.

To check in with your own body image, ask yourself:

How do I talk about my body out loud?

What messages did I internalize growing up? Have I ever questioned the source of these messages?

Do I compliment others only on appearance?

Did I give myself grace when my body changes?

It’s not about perfection. It’s about being mindful.

Clean Out Your Social Media

Social media can be a great tool or a toxic cesspool (or a weird combination of the two). Teach your teen media literacy. Help them recognize that what they see online can be more of an illusion than a reality between all the filters, Face tuning, angles, lighting tricks (not to mention body modifications that are common online). Challenge assumptions you naturally make about someone’s appearance- you never know what alterations they have made to their body, filters used, or camera tricks.

If your teen is struggling with their body image, this is a good opportunity for you and your teen to clean out your social media of any creators who make you feel bad about yourself. Remember, some of these may be subtle- they may not directly disclose negative body image, but you may notice their appearance changing in dramatic ways. While body modifications aren’t inherently bad, they can send a subtle message to viewers.

Body Neutrality

Here’s the thing, me telling you to love your body may feel pretty mountainous. It can feel like a lot to think of your body in a positive way. In these cases, body neutrality can be a helpful mindset to adopt. Body neutrality means there aren’t any positive or negative feelings. Instead of thinking, “ugh my arm looks terrible”, you can correct your thinking to “that is my arm. It helps me carry things and hug people I care about”.

This has been a great tool for me personally. You don’t have to love everything about your body, but you don’t have to trash the house you live in either. Body neutrality can be a steppingstone to body positivity, or the final goal. This mindset takes time to adopt- your thought patterns don’t change overnight.

Involve the Village

No one is going to be totally protected from outside influence, but you can create a safe inner circle. Support your teen in unlearning diet culture messages by being vocal about it when it shows up. This can be incredibly healing and eye opening for your teen! So next time you see a clothing ad talking about a “summer body”, fire back with “a summer body is a body in the summer- that message is not okay!”

Build Identity Beyond Appearance

Keep yourself in check with how you compliment your teen. There’s nothing wrong with complimenting their physical features, but if that is all you compliment them on, you might inadvertently be sending the wrong message. Make sure you are complementing the person they are in addition to physical attributes. Is your teen a thoughtful friend? Are they funny? Do you admire how their mind works? When’s the last time you told them?

Consult a Counselor (Might I suggest Owens Counseling?)

Of course I must recommend therapy. If you or your teen is struggling with negative body image, it can quickly progress to disordered eating patterns, anxiety, depression, self-harm, etc. These can be extremely dangerous and difficult to treat if not caught early. Working with a therapist can help process and change these thinking patterns in a beneficial way. Early support can make a huge difference!

Your teen’s body is not broken. It doesn’t need to be fixed to be worthy of love. What they do need is a supportive voice to counteract the noise, and a reminder that the love they received isn’t conditional on their appearance. If you can offer that, even imperfectly, then you’re able to do something powerful.