Staying Sober During Holiday Festivities

By Elaina Rossman, Master Level Clinical Intern

The holidays are a time for celebration, connection, and joy—but they can also be one of the toughest seasons to navigate when you’re choosing sobriety. The holidays tend to magnify everything: family dynamics, social pressure, grief, loneliness, nostalgia, joy, and stress. If you’re working to maintain sobriety right now, it’s normal to feel all of that more intensely. You’re not imagining it: staying sober during the holidays really is harder.

Whether you are on a sobriety journey or just choosing to avoid alcohol this season, here’s some ways that can help you navigate the holidays with your sobriety—and your self-respect—intact!

Stay Grounded and Remember Your Goals

Before the invitations and expectations pile up, take a moment to reconnect with why you’re staying sober. Maybe it’s for your health and relationships or maybe for mental clarity and long-term goals.

Your reasons—whatever they are—are important. Write them down, keep them on your phone, or remind yourself silently before you walk into an event.

Plan Ahead for Tough Moments Because they Will Happen

Preparation and prevention are one of the strongest tools you have! It’s completely normal to feel anxious before holiday gatherings. Many people in recovery (or simply choosing not to drink) feel this way.

Good planning doesn’t mean you’re weak—it means you’re wise.

Options to Consider:

Bring your own non-alcoholic drink so you never feel empty-handed.
Driving yourself so you can leave when you need to, not when others expect you to.
Setting a time limit for events that feel challenging so you’re not pushing yourself beyond your emotional capacity.
Rehearsing a simple, confident response when someone offers you a drink. Most people don’t need details. A brief “I’m good, thanks!” or “I’m not drinking tonight” is enough.
If you truly are feeling that it is too risky or uncomfortable, don’t go and out yourself in that situation. You must do and are allowed to do what is best for your wellbeing!

Hosting Tip: Offering non-alcoholic options helps others feel supported too, and non-alcoholic holiday beverages are more popular than ever, think spiced teas, cranberry spritzers, or mocktails. You might be surprised how many people appreciate the alternatives but don’t say anything!

Surround Yourself With Support

Supportive people can make all the difference. Whether it’s a friend who respects your boundaries, someone else in recovery, a sponsor, or a partner who checks in with you quietly during the event, choose to spend time around those who make you feel safe and strong.

If you’re part of a program, leaning on your support network isn’t just okay—it’s healthy and encouraged. Consider:

Attending extra support meetings, especially before and after events that feel emotionally charged. Many recovery communities even host holiday-specific meetings because they know how tough this season can be.
Reaching out to your sponsor or mentor or close friend/family member when you’re feeling overwhelmed, uncertain, or tempted. A quick call or text can shift your mindset and help you feel grounded again.
Checking in with sober friends or accountability partners who “get it,” even if it’s just sending a message like, “Hey, tonight’s tough—mind if I talk for a minute?”
Using online meetings or digital communities when getting to an in-person meeting isn’t possible. Connection counts, even through a screen.
Making a plan with your sponsor or supportive friends before you go into situations that feel risky, so you know who you can reach out to if things get difficult.
Meet with a therapist, whether you have one (schedule an extra if desired) or maybe it’s time to set yourself up with one.

Reaching out doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means you’re choosing connection over pushing through alone, support over self-sacrifice, and you’re honoring your recovery and sobriety!

It’s completely valid to need more help this time of year. That doesn’t reflect a lack of strength. If anything, it shows tremendous courage and self-awareness.

You deserve a recovery that feels supported, not solitary.

Give Yourself Permission to Decline Invitations

This is a big one: you don’t have to go to everything!

If certain gatherings are historically triggering or emotionally draining, opting out is an act of self-respect—not isolation. And here’s the truth: saying “no” to the wrong event for you creates space to say “yes” to the things that actually bring comfort, connection, and healing.

Focus on What Truly Matters (and Let Go of What Doesn’t)

You might find that sobriety changes how you experience the holidays and that’s okay too. When you’re not drinking, you’re more present. Being more present means you notice real conversations, you feel emotions more clearly, and you remember the moments.

You’re choosing presence over numbing, clarity over chaos, and authentic celebration over pressure. Sometimes that clarity feels grounding, and sometimes it feels uncomfortable. Both are valid.

Celebrate Your Effort – Not Just Your Results

Whether this is your first sober holiday or your tenth, acknowledge your effort and strength. Every event you navigate, every urge you move through, every boundary you honor is worth celebrating. Consider journaling your experiences so you can look back and see how much you’ve grown.

You don’t need to feel strong all the time to be strong. Recovery—and sobriety in general—is built on resilience, honesty, and trying again. If you have hard moments, that doesn’t erase your progress. It just makes you real.

Closing Thoughts

Staying sober during holiday festivities isn’t easy, but it is absolutely possible—and deeply rewarding. With preparation, support, and self-compassion, you can enjoy the season while maintaining your sobriety.

If you feel overwhelmed, stressed, lonely, or tempted, it doesn’t mean you’re failing. What it means is that you’re navigating a very human experience. You’re breaking patterns, challenging norms, and making choices that align with your long-term goals.

Please remember:

Your sobriety is worth protecting.
Your struggle does not diminish your strength.
Every small decision is something to be proud of.

This holiday season, practice curiosity for every hard feeling that arises, and self-compassion every step of the way. I hope you find peace in the moments you protect yourself and pride in the choices you make.

Prefer to have someone supporting you and to assist coming up with a holiday plan? We’re here for you! View the list of our clinicians to see who you feel like you would connect with the most!